486 and Pentium CPU chips, extracted from old computers, are manufactured from one of the hardest ceramics made. Usually they'll be grey in colour. They will scratch almost anything; including glass, tiles, cement, and metal. Hold the chip (the side WITHOUT the pins!) against your palm and press hard against one of the sharp corners. Sharpen the corners by dragging the chip at a low angle against concrete.
To make it a little kinder on your hands crush the pins flat.
Using a CPU to get up; how geeky is that?
